Dear Jeffrey,
I have had gay feelings for many years, but have never done anything about it. Always pushed it
to back of head. I am now thinking of having sex with someone. I have yet to find that someone. But for when
I do, can you gives me any tips how and what to do.
Dear Jerry,
If you want to meet someone, you do it the same way a straight person meets another straight person,
but go to places that other gay men go. A good place are the gay bars. A lot of people also have luck with personal
ads or dating services. As to your question what to do.... what ever come naturally. Dating is dating no matter
what the sex is. Go meets some people!
Dear Jeffery,
I am a gay youth who wants to come out to his family, but dont know how to approach
them with the news of my new found gayness. I have told all of my friends that I am gay, but they told me that they
already new that I was and that they didnt care. I somewhat think that that is what my family would say, but I
am afraid that I would embarasse them if others were to know that they had a gay in the family. Please help if you can,
your fan David
Dear David,
You will know when it is time to come out. Because it will just happen when it feels right for you.
Make sure you are ready for the outcome... good or bad. The best way for you to do this is to go to a family member
whom you feel close too and that you believe would be the most accepting. This person can help you talk to the rest
of your family. If you dont have this person in your life, you do have your friends. Use them... Support always
helps. Local youth groups are always a good resource. As your friends did, don't be surprised if your family already
knows and are accepting. Good luck my friend.
Dear Jeffrey,
I like this guy but im not out yet and i think he likes me i mean we dont talk alot but we do talk
about an hour and a half each day but i dont know if hes gay hes asked me twice but im not gay im bi and i said no b cuz technically
im not and i think he might tell someone and im worried that he will and what if hes not gay but if hes just wondering cuz
im not sure cuz there are rumors at school but i
dont know i mean i deny it because most of there just completely wrong
and i just dont what i should do can u give me some advice
Chris
Dear Chris,
If he is talking to you for an hour and a half a day and he is not gay, I would guess he is a good
freind. If he is a good freind, then you should be able to trust him even if he is not gay. My
advice to you is to build on the freindship first, see what signs you get from him and do what your heart tells you.
Dear Jeffrey,
Im not sure whether I am still in love with my partner, we have been
together for 8 years but he is very
tempermental and is quick to break something when we fight, especially when drink is involved, im not sure if we should have
a break or not?
Lesley
Dear Lesley,
His temperment doesn't seem to be the problem here. You need to figure out if you still love him or
not first. If not move on. If you do still love him get to his temperment problem and work on fixing it.
This includes changing your ways if you are part of the problem. Look deep into your problem for your true answer, I
don't think its on the surface. Good Luck
Dear Jeffrey,
I am approaching my 52nd birthday and have been having a problem for over 8 years.
I was partnered
to a man for 22 years and needless to say, loved him dearly. He died 8 years ago of cancer and I still can not get him
out of my heart and mind. Is this normal to grieve this long and still love a man long after he died?
I think of
him everday and miss him as much now as I did when he died. I have entered into another relationship that is no where
near the passion and love I had had with my first partner. This guy is entirely the opposite of what I had
the first
time. I even hate sex now and have not enjoyed anal since my partner died. Please, your insight will be appreciated.
George.
Dear George,
When you lose someone you love, that person will never be replaced or forgotten. If they were
you never really loved them. What you must realize is that no two relationships are the same. This
is the same of a relationship between freinds or lovers alike. You must not build your new relationships based on your
old. Build from what you have and if it is not working move on until you find the right person. By the way it
is ok to grieve for as long as you need to.
Dear Jeffrey,
I know this is weird because i'm a woman but I need some
advise from a gay male, ok I met my husband
online 1 and a half yrs ago hes from England and hes 51, only married once back in the 70s for 3 yrs and, i,m 38 atractive,
in my prime woman, well when we first met for 2 weeks things were good, then when he moved in with me our sex was next to
nothing, and has been for over a year, he says hes always had low sex drive ,but jeffrey he wont um touch me there... and
i,m lucky if we have sex twice a month, ive begged him. yes ive asked him if he was gay and of course he said no,, and when
he sees something on gay men he
really overdoes it and gets mouthy about it.could you tell me the sighns of being gay male?
il,m really a nice person and i'm clean and i am at the end of my rope with him hes dated lots of women and they end up having
affairs behind his back because of his sex prob. he said he could care less if we ever made love again ,and
asked if i
could live with that..
well ty Baby
Well Baby,
First of all your man having a low sex drive with you doesn't mean he is Gay. I am 35 and my partner
is 25. We have been together for four years as of this past Sunday. I love him dearly and hate hime dearly at times,
as he does with me. Relationships have ups and downs, gay or straight alike. We don't have sex often but that
doesn't mean I am straight. Try something different in your relationship. Make sure your doing things he likes
and its not all about you in the bedroom. But most of all stop begging ... it will push him further away!
Find something he likes and capalize on it. Don't tell him your going to do it, Just do it. Find what makes him feel
good and move on with it. Good Luck!
Dear Jeffrey,
I am a 40 year old man who just came out of the closet. Until this year, had never been with a man.
I am only attracted to guys who fit the fantasies I had when I was young (usually guys in their 20's with great bodies). The
men my own age just dont "do it" for me. I have dated many guys my age who were very nice but I had no desire to be
close physically. Occasionally, I meet somebody in the right age bracket I find interesting, but they are always getting the
younger guys. So, I feel I am left with the older guys who have not found anybody. I know this is childish but if I am not
going to be attracted to the guy, I might as well go back to dating women. I am getting very depressed about the lack
of passion and loneliness it is causing. I wish I could change. Any suggestions? Mike
Dear Mike,
Most of the responses that come in to Dear Jeffrey are answered by my partner Steven, however I have choosen
to answer your question myself. You see I can some what relate with you. I am almost your age, shy by five years.
I also do not normally find myself attracted to men my age. My partner is ten years younger than I am. We have
been together for almost four years now. My partner is also somewhat like us. He is normally attracted to older
men and not guys his age. There are many younger men who perfer a relationship with someone older. So Don't worry
there is someone out there for you to... Try the personals.
But Keep searching you will find him.... Good Luck Mike!
Dear Jeffrey,
Yesterday, my boyfriend called and broke up with me... he used the
line that he hopes we can still be friends, he said that he still loved me but he didn't love me in that lover type of way.
It hurt me alot... and he said we might get back together. I am so confused, what do you believe I should do?
Brett
Dear Brett,
First of all, how old is this boyfriend? The reason I
ask is because the part of him saying " we might get back together " is really kinda childish. If he needs to think
about being with you then he probably doesn't want to be with you at all. I say you lay low for a while. I tried
the let's be friends thing before.......believe me it doesn't work, it causes more pain than anything. There are bigger
and better fish in the sea so keep on fishin' man!!
Dear Jeffrey,
I have a best freind who is dating this guy. Me and my freind use
to date at one point. Well i am very attracted to my good freinds boysfreind and i think that he is attracted to me
but they have been dating for a year now and it could just be flirting but i am not sure what is going on. What do I
do. - George
Dear George,
Okay so your attracted, leave it at that. Believe me it is better
to not cross that forbiden boundary of flirting with a friends boyfriend. It will end in nothing but a huge ass mess.
There are plenty of guys out there to flirt with, my suggestion is that you find one. But of course you could always
have a 3-way. That should make your friendship a lot stronger...........NOT!!!!!!
Dear Jeffrey,
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months. He tells me he's
in love with me yet he beats with a stick. Should I take this kind of pain because I love him to? gay Henry
Well Mr. Gay Henry,
Only if you enjoy it. Some beating can be fun.... depends
on when there done.......with love.... Jeffrey